Saturday, February 26, 2011

A New Career?

Think I found the perfect way to make a few extra pesos. I’m going to sell grass. ‘Real Calif. Grass’. The way I figure it, I’ve gotta’ mow the grass every two weeks year round, (but it’s still better than having to own a snow shovel), so why not make money off it?

I’ll market it as ‘Therapeutic Grass’ for those that live where that awful white stuff shows up for months on end. Every time you find yourself ass deep in snow, take a whiff of ‘Real Calif. Grass’ and curse the Snow Gods. If it smells a little like dog shit, all that means is that you got the ‘primo stuff’ at no extra charge.

12 comments:

Lady Ridesalot said...

Hey... what a great idea! In fact... I'll bet you could probably expand your operations pretty quickly. How 'bout you open up a "southern grass" division so you can offer your customers a variety of primo grass selections. I know someone who could run your "southern grass division" for ya!

Tell you what... I'll send you some clippings and you can let me know if we have a deal. Okay? Okay!!

Gotta go now... need to put more fishing line in the "weed whacker"! Muwahahahahaha!

Arizona Harley Dude said...

You sir are a true visionary. Here is another case of “Why the Hell didn’t I think of that!”

I should think more and sit less!!!!!

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Depending on how well you maintain your lawn is what determines if you should sell that as Grass or Weed.

MeanDonnaJean said...

I think yer really onto somethin' here, darlin'. Alls I know is that I sure as hell ain't gonna mock ya about it cuz I know that stranger things have been sold....and have even made $$fortunes$$ for some!

So now I ask ya...do ya need a partner? a marketing manager? a door-to-door salesperson? a gofer? an official grass cutterer? ;-)

Rhonda said...

Send a bag my way right now and I want the primo shit (pun intended). It's -20 and we've had over 80 inches of snow this winter. I definitly need a fix!

Willy D said...

Lady R: I like the idea of a ‘Southern Franchise’. Why don’t you just run it yourself and send me 80% as a ‘Intellectual Property Fee’? Or maybe you could just send me some intellect. I seem to be running a bit low.

AZHD: You didn’t think of it because you still have brain cells. I on the other hand, have only two cells left. And they seldom agree on anything anymore. When they do agree it winds up FUBAR.

Mr. M: You’re absolutely right. Truth in advertising is a must. I’ll change it to the “Calif. Dog Shit Co.’ so I don’t mislead anyone.

MDJ: I’ll never forget the day my little brother bought a f’ing pet rock$$$

I need someone for all those jobs. I just want to kick back and collect the cash. I don’t want to do any of the work. What I really need is a ‘grass tester’. You’ve got to be able to tell the difference between German Sheppard, Golden Retriever and Mutt by sight or smell. If you can only tell by taste that’s ok. But I’m not paying extra.

Willy D said...

Rhonda: 80 inches of white crap! You need more than just a ‘fix’. I’m sending you a big damn green lawn/leaf bag of super primo Great Dane! Enjoy.

mq01 said...

you sure you're not in humboldt?!?... and hey, how come your grass (lol) is green right now? all mine is mud (water logged in rain, grrrrrrrrrrrr).

Willy D said...

mq01: I wish this stuff was brown & dead. This mowing thing sucks.

FLHX_Dave said...

I zoomed in on the pict and was going to come over to your house with the whole "what's up wit' dat" crap for holding out on me.

Good idea...good idea.

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Gas, Lawn clippings, or Ass. No one mows for free!

WooleyBugger said...

I'll trade you an ounce of some prime Nc Real estate for an ounce of your grass.

Actually when kids we would have relatives bring us back a rock or a baggie of dirt from where they visited.