Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A "Living Document" ?

This is the Preamble of the U.S. Constitution, the way it was penned by the Founding Fathers. I take it to mean exactly what it says:

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
It seems there are a lot of people; government officials, judges, or just plain a’holes whom think this is a “living document”. That the Constitution should be upgraded and interpreted in different ways as times change. After all, they are fine upstanding public servants that want nothing but the best for our country. None of them would ever have any self-serving interest at heart. Would they? The Founding Fathers must be wrong. How could they know what a Socialist government full of tyrants, kings, an elite ruling class, taxes out the wazoo, with everyone breaking their back just to keep the ”King” happy would be like? A copy of “Country Building For Dummies” would come in handy.

I decided to give the “King” a head start and redo the Preamble for him. Up-dated and up-graded to reflect today’s society. If they want to rewrite the entire Constitution, they’ll have to do it without me. I just hope I’m not around when these a’holes do this for real.

“We the Illegal and Elite People in the United Socialist States, in Order to form a more perfect Union for ourselves, establish Justice for the Elite, ensure domestic Tranquility as long as you agree with us, provide for the common defence for all Countries except this one, promote the general Welfare services we are entitled to, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity not yours, do ordain and amend this Constitution for Our United Socialist States of America.”

PS – I know this is primarily a motorcycle blog, and there has been a lot of political post as of late. But I’m thoroughly disgusted with the way “all” politicians have acted the last few years. Besides, I don’t know how much longer we’ll have them, so I’ll exercise my First Amendment rights while I can. And my Second Amendment rights if I have to.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Saturday Ride

So the plan was to meet Becky (Biker Chickz) in Santa Cruz. B.B. riding solo, Dave packin’ Riley, and me two-up with my wife Carolyn. We hit Santa Cruz and the weather is great, in the 70’s. We all meet up and decide where to go. The decision is to head over to the Beach Boardwalk and then south down the Pacific Coast Highway. We head out with Dave in the lead. The turn off for the boardwalk is a 3 or 4 lane road. Somehow we miss the whole thing. Remember, it’s follow the leader. So we head down the PCH about 20 miles and pull over to check out the scenery. The spot we stopped at was cool. High up on the cliffs looking out over the Pacific Ocean. The coolest part was the seagulls. Even though they were flying several hundred feet over the water, to us they were at eye level.

Looking down he coast we could see the fog was coming in, heavy. A few miles down the coast the road drops down to sea level. Riding through the fog with limited visibility is not a fun way to spend a afternoon. We decide to double back and go up a road we passed named Bonney Doon Road. It looked liked it went into the mountains and none of us knew where it went. The best kind of road. It turned out to be a pretty good road. Lots of twisties running through the redwoods and several small towns. We stopped in one little town for pizza. Some of the roads had strange names.

Somehow we found our way back to Santa Cruz. Got off on Becky’s exit, everyone waved and Becky headed home. If anyone is wondering, Biker Chickz is doing fine. Her spirits are high and she’s not letting recent events get her down. She’s a tough lady and a survivor. I have no doubt she’ll come out on top.

Well we totally missed the exit to get back on Highway 1, so we decided to go find the boardwalk (again). We never did find it. But we found a spot that overlooked a wharf and beach. I think it was Capitola Beach. We eventually found Highway 1, got back to Salinas, had some spectacular coffee and went home. I would say that it was nothing special, just a day of riding. But any day you spend with friends taking new roads is special.

Saturday, March 21, 2009


I remember saying a while back something like: “ It won’t take much. Just a small incident, totally insignificant in itself. But just enough to push people over the edge”. It was in a post or a comment, doesn’t really matter. I wonder if this AIG crap is such a incident? Not the money part, I’m not getting into that. I mean the employees having armed escorts too and from work. Armed guards around the building. People trying to find their homes. They can’t wear any identifying logos. Sounds like some folks are pissed. I just hope they can tell the difference between a CEO and a Janitor at 1000 yards through a scope. Besides, I think they’re mad at the wrong people. Get pissed at the lawmakers that passed the insane laws that made this shit legal. But first try to change the laws. If that doesn’t work. Well, then explore other options…

The video thingy really has nothing to do with this. It’s just the result of a brain-fart that expresses my distrust of our current leaders. Might even get me on some “official” watch list. Hell, I could use the excitement.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Dumb Mechanic

Why is it that it’s always the mechanics ride that’s always screwed up?
I thought these things had “wear indicators” on them. Well I looked and I can’t find them. The indicator alarm never went off either. Damn defective tires!

New tire. Mfg. by Shinko. I was told they are part of the Yokohama tire co. I wasn’t sure about the tread design, but the guy that sold it to me said I would like it. Hell, I’m a “dumb mechanic” so why not. I like to try new things. Well, he was right. That tire stops, hugs, corners and tracks like a dream. Exact same specs as the Dunlop. The best part, mounted and spin balanced, out the door: $139.31. If I get 6 to10, 000 miles out of it, I’m happy.

Enough about the dumb mechanic and his tire. The real story is getting the tire. A friend told me about this guy several months ago. I’m in need of a tire on the cheap so I call. First thing is he says sure he’ll come in at 9 AM Sunday. I meet George at his shop (right behind his house) first thing he says is lets put the coffee on. Looking around his shop, he’s got a real good inventory at real good prices. George is 75 years old (doesn’t look a day over 60). He came out of retirement 6 years ago and opened his shop because “retirement sucks”. He is one of the nicest folks I’ve ever met. He has two lifts and a set of tools just for customers that want to do their own work. He rides a Dyna and a Glide. His wife has her own bike. So if anyone is ever in the Monterey Bay, CA area and needs a tire, this is the guy to call. His bike trailer stays hooked to the truck at all times. One note: If you go to George Henry for tire work, don’t be in a hurry. Be prepared to sit and BS a while. George has a lifetime of stories, and the guys a real Brother.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The EPA Has Crossed The Line!

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there were two motorcycles. A big burley boy bike and a little petite girl bike. They would spend their days chasing each other around their island paradise sniffing each other’s exhaust pipes. Nights would often find them flashing their taillights. During full moons their turn signals were always on four-way. It was a wonderful life.

One day a EPA ship loaded with DOT pirate scooters found their island. They had come for the little petite girl bike. Her full set of bodacious cams and hot shapely exhaust were outlawed. The big burley boy bike was powerless to stop them. There were too many. They broke his clutch cable, flattened his tires and jammed his primary. He sat there on his bent kickstand and watched her flashing taillight fade on the horizon. Life sucked.
OK. Maybe I'm loosing it. But the bike's on the lift with the may-pop rear tire on the ground. I can't pick up a new tire until 9 AM tomorrow. I'm bored, my minds wandering, and I'm having thoughts about thinking. It's making my brain hurt!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Brain Salad Surgery

Hey kid! You do know that it looks like you’ve got a load of poop in your pants don’t you? Either pull them up or go change them. Oh and by the way, that nose ring doesn’t go with those shoes. And you wonder why you can’t find a job. Over the last few years I’ve hired 6 or 7 kids ranging from 18 to about 25 years old. The job is easy enough. Clean up around the shop and wash equipment like bulldozers, excavators and dump trucks. Starting pay - $13.00 per hour with full benefits. Medical, vacation, matching 401K, profit sharing, etc. Lots of opportunity to learn and move up the ladder. Some lasted a few months, some a few weeks. All quit or got fired. Quit because the job was “to hard”. Or fired for crap like (and this was a common theme for several of them), sitting in equipment listening to the radio, yakking’ on their cell phone and texting. After being told several times that it is unacceptable. You almost have to be a FBI code breaker to figure out some of the stuff on their applications.

Lets see, every stupid form the feds, states, counties and cities use is published in what, 20, 30 languages? At what cost? Need a translator, get a friend to help. Or better yet, learn the language of the country you “choose” to live in. Hell, I’m also paying for all kinds of programs that will teach your ass for free.

Universal healthcare? Shit, we already have it. Anyone in the whole damn universe can come here and get the best health care “my” money can buy.

And the gang-bangers. Last week our local constables raided a gang safe house. They made seven arrest and confiscated one rifle. Please Mr. Chief-O- Police. With a Compensation Package of $300,000 per year, you should spend some of “my” money at Liars University. No cash? No drugs? No handguns? A safe house with “one” rifle? I’ll say it right now: “Your full of shit”. Are you going to pay these same seven “gang bangers” $100 to get “arrested” in your next “raid”? One press release. No follow up. No nothing. Just how stupid do you think the people are that flush money down the toilet you call a salary are? I smell a rat here.

How about the head of the State of Calif. Consumer Services Agency. She was taking $15,000 a pop for “speaking fees” from companies doing business with the state. Illegal as hell. Sure, she resigned last week after she got caught. But I want her and the bastards that paid her all in prison. I wonder if anyone cares what these people are doing? As long as they’re not at my house arresting me mentality. What a fucking country of wussies.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Final Battle IV

“Greed!” Luke screamed as loud as he could. A deafening sound in the cold silence of the night. Both boys jumped as is fire-ants had crawled up their butts. Luke turned around and laughed. He knew he had scared the crap out of them. Sitting back down on the log, Luke continued in a calm and deliberate tone: “Greed boys.” “It was nothing but greed that killed your father.”

“From 2009 thru 2012, there was a series of Economy Rescue Programs. None worked. Inflation was running wild, forty two percent unemployment. The ship was sinking.” “Milk was twenty six dollars a gallon, ten dollars for bread, hell, a McDonalds “happy meal” was seventeen dollars. Not many people were “happy” anymore.” Tom picked up the bottle of Jim Beam and held it out for his Uncle. Luke said thanks, but waved it off. He was already feeling the effects of the bourbon and had a long night ahead. He tossed the bottle cap to Tom and continued: “Anyway, in early 2013, the Wall Street wizards devised a “brilliant” plan to control the economy. They reasoned that the root cause of the collapse was “cash”.

“The plan was to do away with cash. People were hoarding it and not spending. There was no way to track and tax cash. Each tax payer would be issued a government credit card. All wage earnings would be credited to their account, and all purchases would be deducted from their account.” “Since the government already had control over all electronic commutations, it would be a easy transition.” “Well, Congress bought it, and the “Puppet” in the Whitehouse signed the plan into law.” “The one part of the plan that was not made public was that The Bank of China had been contracted to handle all transactions.” “But their “plan” worked. As far as Wall Street was concerned. Wall Street “did” control the economy. They made trillions of dollars. And the people suffered even more.”

Luke looked at his watch, noting it was almost eleven o’clock, relit his pipe and turned his attention back to Tom and Ben. “It may sound harsh, but their “plan” turned out to be a good thing, - for the ACF.” “Before that, most people thought we were a few thousand lunatics running around destroying buildings and stealing weapons. The majority of our forces at that time were from HOG Chapters or Military personnel who could read the writing on the wall.” “Most thought we were some gang of anarchist or something”. “After the credit card scam, folks began to look at us differently. They started to understand that we were trying to protect them from the rogue politicians, power whores and the endless stream of corrupt bankers, which had infiltrated our government and way of life.”

Luke motioned to Tom for the bottle: “Think I’ll take that drink now.” Tom tossed the bottle, nearly making his Uncle fall off the log to catch it. “You out of your mind boy!” said Luke. “You break that bottle, I’ll have your brother whoop your butt.” Tom playfully elbowed Ben in the ribs and asked him: “Wan’a try it?” Although Tom was three years younger, he was a full head taller and fifty pounds heavier than Ben. Ben just punched him back in the shoulder and laughed. The three of them sat there in the coolness of the full moon. Looking out over the Potomac River. The last hour would be the longest wait of their lives.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Final Battle III

Luke pulled onto the island just as Ben and Tom were making the final adjustments. They had both EMP’s set to within one-quarter degree. Perfect. The control cables had been ran from the “Western Whitehouse” control center and attached. All systems were powered, triple checked and ready.

Ben thought about what his Uncle had said earlier at the cave. The sale of Harley. Riots and looting. He wondered how the government had become so disrespectful of it’s own citizens. The two boys walked over to where the bikes were parked. Luke was sitting on a log watching them finish the EMP’s. They sat across from him and asked: “Can you tell us what happened after you and our Dad formed the ACF”? “What was wrong with the government”? “How could they be so stupid”?

Luke reached into his rucksack and produced a pint of Jim Beam bourbon. The boys sat patiently waiting for him to speak. Breaking the seal on the fresh bottle, he held it up and looked at the full moon through the amber liquid. After a moment of collecting his thoughts he took a long swig. Feeling the warmth in his stomach, Luke let out a sigh and sat the bottle on the ground between them. “Now remember to sip that boys, it’s worth its weight in gold”. Ben picked up the bottle and took a healthy “sip”, then passed it to his brother. “Hold up there son” Luke said. “ The “law” says you have to be twenty-one to drink that. If my brain’s still working, you’re only eighteen”. Tom saw the smirk on Luke’s face, politely gave him a one-finger salute and took a big gulp. Luke fell off the log laughing. “Damn son”, Luke said, “You’re just as cocky as your old-man was”. Silence suddenly pierced the moon lit night. Luke felt the tears welling in his eyes. Damn he missed his brother.

After several rounds of “pass the bottle”, Luke spoke up. “ Things really started to get bad in 2012 when Schwarzenegger won the Presidential Election. Every one said that he couldn’t run, but the U.S.S.A. Senate said that all of the States had voted to change the Constitution. Although no paperwork was ever seen”. “And since all voting was now done on the Internet, there was no paper trail”. Luke paused to light his pipe and take a sip of bourbon. “News of what was going on wasn’t reaching the masses. In 2009, when the government forced a change to “Digital TV”, people thought they were getting a better picture. In reality, it turned out to be a government controlled system”. “Soon they began editing everything put out on cable. They already had control of the satellites, so that part was easy”. “In late 2010, when the landline phone system was dismantled, disguised as a infrastructure upgrade, they had control of the Internet. As the whole system was now wireless or cable”.

Luke stood up to stretch his legs. He walked to the edge of the island and looked out over DC. He felt the rage and anger building inside him. It was hard for him to understand how so few men could harbor so much greed and power lust. Looking at his watch he saw in was now ten thirty. “Soon” he thought. “Soon, you bastards. I’ll shove that greed right up your…”

Monday, March 2, 2009

Calif. Skid-lid Update

Listen up California bikers. Feb. 27, 2009 there was an Assembly Bill, No. 1205 introduced. It would amend the skid-lid law. 18 years and older – it’s your choice. You know what to do. E-mail, snail mail, phone calls, go to their office and take them out to lunch and get them drunk. Just contact them. Senator Jeff Denham is now my bestest pen-pal.

Also, Senate Bill, No. 435 (shoot me now), for motorcycle smog checks. You know what to do on this one also.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

What! My Wife's A Virgin!

We’re going on our twenty first year of cohabitating. I’ve been a low-life biker type ever since she’s known me. Anyway, I needed a part for the washing machine. The Sears repair center in San Jose had it in stock, according to their web site. $300 – $400 for a new washer or $10 for the part and a 60 mile, each way, bike ride. No brainier – bike ride! So I ask the wife and she says sure, let go. Now the weather looks crappy. Cloudy a hell, just like yesterday, but still no rain. We get about 10 miles and the windshield starts getting wet. Yep, we’re heading right into the storm. Not bad, just heavy sprinkles. We get to San Jose and the place is closed. (I’ll call “customer service” and complain about bad info on the web site tomorrow. They have always been open 11 - 4 on Sundays.) We turn around and head back. Rain all the way home. Pretty good can’t see through the windshield rain. I love it. Carolyn says nothing, just slides up closer.

This is where the virgin part comes into play. We get home, we’re in the garage taking our leathers off, and she says, “You know this is the first time I’ve been out in the rain”. After I thought about it for a while, I decide she’s right. My wife was a “virgin rain rider”. How the hell did that happen? Thinking back, it seems she’s had 20 years worth of excuses every time the weather went tits-up. You know: shopping, cooking, cleaning or some other lame excuse. Well those days are over. She’s not a rain rider virgin anymore. I go out in the rain; she goes out in the rain. Or I’ll shut up and go by myself if she says so. I’ll say one thing, if you have to lose your rain virginity, doing it hard and fast at 85 MPH on CA 101 aint a bad way to go.