Sunday, November 23, 2008

Deer In The Headlights

Shotgun knew he was in trouble. The steady spray of oil from the front pushrod tube was a bad omen. He should have replaced the seals weeks ago. But ridding back and forth to work wasn't a issue for a minor leak. Besides, riding was better than wrenching. But this was different. This was a matter of survival. He hadn't planed on running the old Shovel at 100 mph for 35 miles at night with no option of stopping. Shotgun thought about his situation and wondered how in the hell it had happened...

Just another Friday. Get off work. A nice easy putt down to P&G's for a few cold ones and a couple games of 8-ball. Pulling into the parking lot he saw four or five bikes he recognized. After parking, Shotgun noticed about a dozen bikes parked together behind the bar. Walking in the side door he made note of the out of state plates on the unfamiliar bikes. Standing in the door a minute, he nodded to the bartender. The out of state riders were grouped around the pool tables. Shotgun took a stool at the end of the bar with his back to the wall. Ordering a cold one, he sat back to watch the action.

He had never heard of the M/C the strangers wore on their vests. He did notice they all had "OUTLAW" and 1%er patches. After three beers the call of the pool tables finally got to him. The game went pretty quick and Shotgun had won, as usual. The trouble started when the stranger he was playing said Shotgun had cheated and he wasn't paying the ten dollars they had bet. Just then he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Shotgun turned in time to see a fist coming at him. He sidestepped the sucker punch and swung his pool cue. He felt the cue connect and was sure he had broken someones jaw...

The spray of oil was starting to soak through his jeans. Shotgun had no idea how he got out of P&G's in one piece. All he knew now was that he had two, maybe three miles on the pack chasing him. About a quarter tank of gas, a oil leak and thirty five miles to safety. Shit! The red flicker of the oil pressure light caught his eye. Cursing at the dark, Shotgun look up and saw the deer in his headlight...

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So, just for sh*ts and giggles I figured I'd try my hand at a short story. Being inspired by some of what I've read on the Blogs, I thought why not. I've wrote about subjects I know, but never just made stuff up ( except excuses to my wife). I started typing and this is what came out. Any and all criticism, good and bad, would be greatly appreciated. Especially from our resident authors. Thanks.

12 comments:

Big Daddy said...

Holy shit anothr writer in the bunch!
Cool shit.
Just write as you see and feel them.
The hardest part will be 'conversations'
trying to be witty and smart on paper isn't as easy as the oneliners or sage sayings you manage to pull out all day.
all the wittiscisms that work so well earlier seem lame and out of context later.
PS thats why the next chapters are getting longer between post.
Big D
BTW go back to my post A bad day...I think you.ll get a kick out of it lol

Ann said...

As resident blog story editor in our home, I say: Bravo! WOW!!! So what happens to Shotgun????

BTW...we have a very good friend who goes by that name, so it was really a trip to read! :)

Very nice job!

Mastercheif said...

Looks good to me. Can't wait to hear what happens to Shotgun! I know when I write, I just let it come out and screw what anybody else thinks. You can't be original if your looking for approval. "Right on and write on" I always say.

Dean "D-Day" said...

Well, we're waiting...
What happens to Shotgun?!

FLHX_Dave said...

Well, I like the greasy grits served up here. I was sort wondering what happened to shotgun also, but I figured that the story ended as so many bug lives have on my headlight. Flying high one moment truly alive...only to be ended in another moment by something unexpected. Such is life. Good short. Maybe I read too much into these things. The short has several lessons to be learned!

He who lives by the bike, dies by the bike.

fasthair said...

Dr. W: Not only can you wrench but you can write also! Nice job I liked it.

Damned dear.

fasthair

Willy D said...

Big D:Thanks. I thought about the "conversation" writing and decided to define it as "Having a conversation with yourself, and having it make sense to everybody else". So I guess that could be hard because I'm not sure I make sense to myself. Did that make sense?
I went back and read "A Bad Day".That's a darn good story. The only bad thing about it - you thought of it first! LOL. The concept of the names was great. And the ending - one can only dream.

Ann: What happened to Shotgun? Tell ya what. Seeing as Shotgun is your friend, how about you decide his fate?
Should he live to ride free in the wind another day? OR
Should he go and meet Bambi's Ma?
The decision is yours. Use your power wisely. The fate of the free world rest in your hands ;)

Mastercheif:Thanks for the advise. Love your pic. But dude, you need a shave!

"D-Day": Waiting on a reply from corporate HQ.

Dave: So how is that bug collection of yours doing?

fasthair: Damned Deer? Bambi was a orphan. How about a little compassion? LOL

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Loved it. I was on the edge of my seat right away.

Webster World said...

I like it. Can't wait for the (rest of the story). I live in profound deer country. Been there.

KT Did said...

Yep... bring it on. I like and want more! There's no way out now.

B.B. said...

I finally got a chance to sit down and read it and..........
I thought it was very good!

Lady Ridesalot said...

Cool. I'm catching up. I'm off to read the next excerpt.