Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thankful It's Not 2029!

This is Kay’s latest commentary I heard today. Although it may not be the most uplifting message of the season, it may not be far from the truth. After hearing this, and since it is Thanksgiving, I figured I should be darn thankful it’s not 2029… yet!

"The following is a KSCO commentary. Here is Kay Zwerling: OK. This has been floating around for awhile. Sounds like life will not be much fun in the future. Headlines from the year 2029: Ozone created by electric cars are now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minority are still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally, scientists are stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Last remaining fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). Iraq still closed off. Scientist estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year, $75.8 billion study: The result is that diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 pounds. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now 9’7”. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. And, Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with a Congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. And, there you are. These are the headlines in the year 2029".

Now that you know what the future holds have a Happy Thanksgiving.

--This part was added a little later in the day--
I went on a short ride before going out to dinner with the In-laws, who are great people, but still remember guys, do what your wife tells you. It seems that Belle was feeling a little left out at not being invited to dinner so she acquired her own Thanksgiving feast.


Ann said...


Belle got a nice dinner for herself! Right on! :)

Lady Ridesalot said...

WTF!!! Just kill me now!! >:{

Belle... Romeo just fell in love! How bout a date?? (meow)

Willy D said...

Ann: Cry your ass off is more like it if any of that junk comes true.
Belle never eats the critters. She just “plays” until the critter can’t play anymore.

Lady R: Just like myths and old wives tales, there seems to be a bit of truth in them. How’s that go? Truth is stranger than fiction?

Romeo: I’m cute, fuzzy and warm. Plus I make a mean chicken-fried-mouse! Give me call big fella!
Purr Purr,

FLHX_Dave said...

Heh, truth is stanger than fiction. You know what, I can't even laugh about this because...I simply am not shocked anymore and if this comes to light, well, I won't be suprised.

Would you have believed that Swartzenegger would be the gov of California? Oh hell no...but, he is.

Shit, this has be really freaked out now, lol!!!

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Mmmmmmmmm, Stuffed rat. Yummy! Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!

mq01 said...

belle and romeo sitting in a tree...