Special Delivery

OK all you commie pinko bastards out there; the Doc’s got a prescription for what ails you. All you gotta’ do is read it, quite your bitchin’ and get involved.

Got me a box of 50 copies. Bet I could dress like a bum, stand on a street corner and sell them at $5 a pop. Not a bad return on 25 bucks. It may come to that some day, but for now these are give-a-ways.

So here’s the sales pitch: If you respond in the next 10 minutes, I’ll mail one to anybody that wants one. Just e-mail the info. Send a blank, signed check, or a credit card number, and I’ll autograph it. That should up the value by a nickel in about 100 years. I’ll also accept winning lottery tickets or food-stamps. Only 46 left at this insane low price. Keep in mind that if I get in trouble for sending contraband through the mail, I’ll expect bail money.

The Battle Rages On

Most of us have seen this poster from somewhere back in the 70’s. I’ve always liked it because it symbolizes how this country was formed. Weather you’re on the side of the mouse or the bird it doesn’t matter. We had one last great act of defiance against the King and came away with a Country.

Since this is the first day of a new year I wondered what could be my first act of defiance this year. I get into decusions about politics a lot. When we get to the Constitution most people talk crap but get it wrong. I carry a copy at all times. One in my truck, one in the map pocket of my riding jacket. When I take it out and set them straight on the facts, not what somebody told them the facts are, they usually agree and would like to learn more.

So I found a bookstore that was open on New Years Day a few town away, went there and got the copies of the Constitution they had in stock. There’re small and can be kept in the bottom of a saddlebag to be given to folks who think they know something but really don’t know shit.


I consider this act defiant because the government doesn’t want common folk reading such propaganda. I can only lead to no-good and them possibly loosing their cushy job. Plus the purchase of said propaganda puts money into the economy and helps keep private sector jobs. Something else they don’t want.

I’m also sure that the video of me at the cashier was sent to some dark government room someplace. After all, one person buying multiple copies of the U.S. Constitution can only mean one thing: “Damn troublemaker!”

Bah Humbug!

That’s right bah humbug! This Christmas bites. I feel more like the Grinch form Dr. Seuss. So here’s my cheerful holiday BS message for everyone.

Here’s the scoop. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a blog. But there’s a good reason. The reason is “I’ve got a big mouth”. A little more that a month ago I went to a city council meeting to vent about the morons in charge. As Mr. Mayor was explaining his wisdom to the masses, I suggested a nice dark, warm place he could stick his ideas where they would harm no one butt him. Well it seems that Mr. Mayor can’t take constructive criticism and ask the nice Mr. Policeman to escort me out of the building for the rest of the meeting. No problem, I’ll be back for the next one. He walks me outside ‘and’ gives me a ticket for disorderly conduct. Prick!

Three days later I go to municipal court to pay the fine. The Judge says $100 fine. OK, I did it, I’ll pay it. But then this little shit judge, (that I know is buddy-buddy with Mr. Mayor), starts to lecture me about respect for public officials and blah blah blah all that crap. Well I’m there to pay a fine not listen to his rant. So I suggested that he join Mr. Mayor in his never-ending quest to remove his head from his ass. For some reason he considered that contempt and changed the fine to $300 or 30 days. I asked him if that meant I could live on county welfare for 30 days? He asked me if I was paying the fine. I said nope. He banged his stick and said ’30 days’ and I need to report to the jail Monday by 3:00 PM.

Well I’ve got all kinds of time-off saved. So arrangements are made and off on vacation we go. Turned out to be 17 days in my tax money paid hotel. But now I’m back and I’ll probably be even more dangerous now that I’m a public nuisance and a menace to society and all that stuff.

I want to thank the local Bloggers for not spilling the beans before I had a chance to tell my side of the story. Not that there really is any sides to it. Just a guy that has little if any trust in politicians. Screw them all, bah humbug! Pretty soon they’ll want to ban bikers from all public meetings.

And on a different note, I have a comment for someone. You know who you are. WTF is wrong with you? There’s an order to things in the universe. Why did you try to change them? You can stop to piss. You can stop to gas. You can stop to eat. You can’t stop just because it’s raining! That’s just wrong. It’s against everything in the Biker Code of Conduct. That’s like fooling with Mother Nature. Only bad things can happen when try to change the natural order of things.

Doing My Part

Now that CA has it’s dumb EPA bike muffler law, I figured I’d do my part and try to comply. Hell, I’m the most law-abiding citizen you’ll ever meet. So I took a set of heat shields off a ’08 and stuck them on the end of the drag pipes on the Shovel. That’s as far as I’m willing to go with this dumb-ass law. In my mind it’s now ’08 EPA compliant. Friggen genius ain’t it!

But this kind of intellectual reasoning comes at great pains. It also puts some strange thoughts in your head. Like the Easter Bunny. I have a sneaky suspicion that the Easter Bunny is the illegitimate kid of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Think about it. Makes perfect sense. The Fairy spends all her time bent over a bed and Santa love tight spaces. Seems to me that they met up a few times over the years. Where do you think all those little elves came from?

Since they serve no purpose and look pretty strange, I think I’ll leave them on.

Thanks

I took this picture in a dark bar one night in Williams, AZ. It’s a pair of army boots and a U.S. flag hanging from a ceiling beam. I figure today is a good day to share it.

5 Month Road Trip

Gary, from over at USA Tour on a Harley-Davidson was spotted in town last night. He had his starlet-covered bike with him. I don’t know who painted Gary’s Road King, but the guy’s a genius! That paint is gorgeous in person.

Looks like he’s nearing the end of his 5-month putt. Gary sure as hell was happy about it. Not sure if it was from getting near the end, or being able to start Summer on the East Coast and end Autumn on the West Coast. That kind of ride would sure make me happy. It’s something we all dream about.

Cheap Crap

This thing was handling like crap. Finally found the problem.

Here’s Ms. Wrench Wench inspecting the cheap stock Harley bolt that broke. I’ve never seen one of these bolts fail before. The next time I’m at our Failure Analysis Lab, this bolt will be under the microscope for a better look. I’m sure Harley would say that I’m to hard on it or I ride it too much. That seems to be their answer for everything.

This is the pain in the ass that cheap bolt caused. At a cost of $14 for new parts, none of them Harley, I’m glad my live-in mechanic works cheap. I’m sure the Stealership would add a few 0’s to the cost, and probably screw it up anyway.