Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Politically Correct Christmas

T’was the night before layoffs,
And all through the shop,
The foreman was screaming,
Just blowing his top.

The boss was all cozy,
In his overstuffed chair,
Counting his bonus,
Without shedding a tear.

The workers were begging,
To stay on the clock,
Their bills were all due,
The foreclosures won’t stop.

The presents were all wrapped,
With great love and care,
With hopes that the taxman,
Would soon not be there.

The taxman arrived,
Their candles he doused,
He said you must leave here,
This is no longer your house.

Out into the night,
For shelter they seeked,
No doors would be opened,
The neighbors would not speak.

They died in the cold,
From hunger and frost,
The Republic is crumbling,
Our Country maybe lost.


Webster World said...

Death and taxes. Ben was right.

Ann said...

Doesn't exactly give me the warm & fuzzies.

I totally feel for all of them, though. I'm thankful for my job every day, and even more thankful for the industry I'm in now: worker's compensation insurance; we won't be going out of business anytime soon.

Merry Christmas Willy D.

B.B. said...

Thank you for that uplifting piece of work Willy D. :) Merry Christmas!

mrs rc said...

And to think when your title was "A Politically Correct Christmas" I thought you were going to post this good one:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my very best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all;

Enjoy a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make us great, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual orientation of the wisher.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher, who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

Happy Festivus all!!!

Webster World said...

We understand that here. I read that our unemployment rate is over 20%. We my household is doing ok. Willy you and yours have a Merry Christmas.

Lady Ridesalot said...


I hope your holiday is nice and I wish the best to you and yours!

Great video, BTW! Thanks for the special uncut version! Ya'll were great!

Mastercheif said...

Nice play on words!!! The Squatch wishes you and yours all the best in the New Year and hopefully you are unaffected by the downturn.

"Joker" said...

Very Heartwarming and appropriate for current events. I'm a traditionalist though, I prefer this one:

Season's Greetings
Money's Short
Times are Hard
Here's your Fucking
Christmas Card

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
everyone felt shitty
even the mouse

mom at the whorehouse
and dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down
for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
to see what's the matter

then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
it must be Saint Nick

He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
the old fucker fell

he filled all our stockings
with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer

he rose up the chimney
with a thuderous fart
the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart

he swore and he cursed
as he rode out of sight
piss on you all
and have a good night

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, and Happy New Year too!

RickNiekLikeBikes said...

Is "Grass Roots" even in the Dictionary anymore?

TRT said...

Certainly appropriate for the times we are living in. My family is blessed, and I wish the same for all of you.