Sunday, January 31, 2010

Saturday Ride

It was a dark and stormy day, (not really), but there were storms brewing on both side of the valley. It rained like hell the night before as it has for about the last month. I’m almost ready to move to snow country, just not yet. I’ll put up with the rain awhile more. We decided we needed a ride anyway. We went up to the San Luis Reservoir to check the water level. It’s on Highway 152, better known as Pacheco Pass. It runs between Hollister and Los Banos. Nothing like going over the Pass when you know storms are approaching. Not very smart. But considering the riders, Carolyn, Dave and yours truly, smart didn’t figure into it. B.B. couldn’t go. She had to go pick up…never mind. It’s none of my business what she had to do.

Going up was pretty nice. Temps around 60 or so. Coming back they dropped like a rock. We made it back before the rain did so it was all good. We’ve got three rainstorms moving in this week so we’re not getting off scott free. We’re not ass deep in snow either.

The pump towers this past summer and yesterday.

Gratuitous butt shot.

Dave’s little furry friend. He threw rocks at it for about 5 minutes. It never moved. I think it was saying: “Throw nuts you a-hole!”.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Snowtime Story

Damn Terry! You sounded like an old geezer in that Dec piece. If its on the Internet is must be true! $1000.00, that’s a good one. Is that bar next to the tree with the bark on it? Hell, I’ll be there. Post-dated check to follow.

Willy D.
Salinas, CA

The above is a e-mail I sent to Terry Roorda about his column in Thunder Press. For the e-mail to make any sense you’ll have to read Terry’s’ “The devil in the details”. For you folks sitting in a cabin waiting out a snowstorm, this might kill 5 minutes. Sorry, it’s the best I could do on short notice. Yep, snow still melts. This guy writes some fascinating shit. This one is pure friggn’ genius.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Took Notes - Sorry

Yes I watched the State Of The Union. Most of it anyway. Had to take a few smoke breaks. And I took notes. Not because I’m a good student or anything, but because I believe one should study ones enemy.

This is a list of the things the guy speaking said that got my attention. First is the topic the speaker brought up. Second is my thought on that topic that I jotted down.

‘Small business tax cuts’
You’re just now thinking of that?

‘Stop reckless spending’
Look in the mirror!

‘Climate Change Bill’
Really dumb idea. Move on.

‘Trade Deals’
Don’t ya mean sell the Country? Just repeal all the ‘Trade Deals’ Clinton made.

‘The banks are helping folks keep their homes’
That’s a damn lie!

‘Save one trillion dollars over two decades’
That’s pocket change. Means nothing.

‘Used the D word (depression)’
Was that a subliminal message?

‘Chastised the Supreme Court’
Bad move asshole.

‘The Wars ending’
Dude, the war against you hasn’t even started yet!

‘Coming for your nuclear weapons’
38 specials are probably next.

So that was some of my thoughts on the subject. After watching the speech I still think he’s a lying SOB and I still don’t like him. That’s just my opinion. Yours may differ.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

In The Garage III

Well, back in my favorite chair listening to some f’ing kick ass old tunes.

Got in a ‘discussion’ this morning about how to tell good coffee, (mine), from bad coffee, (Carolyn’s). She makes her 100% Columbian coffee in one of that fancy ass Mr. Coffee things. Takes about ten minutes and looks like weak tea. I just don’t understand the point. I doubt there’s enough drugs in it to give one of the cats a buzz. Now my coffee is totally the opposite. I drink the cheapest instant I can find. There’s just something about those puffed up cardboard coffee crystals that scream “I’m full of the good stuff, drink me”. But the secret is in my coffee mug. That alone is a work of art. It sits in the same place constantly, on a cabinet between the washer and dryer. I assume it gets all kind of flavors in it. From dryer lint to soap powder to the cats probably licking it. It’s perfectly seasoned and gets washed maybe every two months.

I contend that coffee should be multi functionally. Her coffee wakes you up (maybe). My coffee, two level teaspoons of sugar and two super heaping teaspoons of brown crunchy flakes, all mixed together in a seasoned mug with hot water from the water cooler serves several functions. It wakes you up, fast. It feeds you. Yes, it’s thick enough to eat. And, as I discovered in this test I devised to tell good coffee from bad coffee, it makes one hell of a parts cleaner. It’s a win – win. You can live on the stuff plus degrease you bike. What more could you ask for?

And as an added bonus, I’ll send my secret coffee recipe to anyone that can guess the part used in the degreasing test. It’s a OEM Harley part that’s been in use for many, many years. You can still buy it today.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Semi Tech Tip

Here’s a tech tip that might work on bikes or it might not. It might not even be a tech tip. It could be the ramblings of a lunatic. Or perhaps, the wisdom of pure geniuses.

I have a combo fan / light in the living room that works by remote. That means that the wall switch for it has to stay in the up / on position.

My kid likes to leave the driveway light on because it’s dark when she gets home. Daddy don’t want the light left on. Daddy has to pay the electric bill. So Daddy puts a nice automatic light up for the driveway. So now the wall switch for the outside light must also be left in the up / on position. Now the light goes on and off like magic. Saves Daddy money. Me likes money. But I’ve also noticed that she still turns the switch off when she comes inside. Just one of those habits. I’ve done it myself. You don’t know it until wonder why the light’s not working.

So here’s the tip part: If you have wall switches that have ADD, (activation direction dysfunction), like mine do, try this; Mount the switch up side down. Keeps people from turning off what you wanted left on.

If this has helped just one person have a better running bike then my work here is done. So until next time, this is your Uncle Willy saying: “Be kind to your neighbors. They know where you live”.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Calling All Mass-Holes

It would appear that the Peoples Republic Of Massachusetts has the opportunity to shut down Pelosi and Pbo. My advice: Get out and make your voice heard. Three more years of this runaway government is not something we can afford. But if you’re happy with all this hope and change, at least have the balls to stand on the tracks as the train plows your ass down.

If Brown gets into office and does nothing else for the entire term, just dealing a deathblow to Pelosi’s antics is more than anyone else is willing to do. The fate of the Nation is in your hands. Vote early and vote often, Chicago style.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Monterey “Tea Party”

Just in case anyone is interested in this kind of stuff, and is planning a ride to Monterey, CA, soon. There’s going to be a "Tea Party" protest Saturday the 16th, Noon till Two. I’ll be there. Waving my flag and flipping f#ckers off.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Back In The Garage

Well, back in the garage staring at bikes and drinking coffee. Got a sleeping bag sitting on the Shovel. She’s begging. The bag was sitting on the Heritage the other day when the wife walked into the garage and said in a no nonsense, I want a answer now kind’a way: “What’s the bag on the bike for”? I think she thought we were taking a break. Nope. Just the bag I had in the back of my truck. Brought it inside and didn’t put it away yet. She said: “Oh” and walked inside. I think she was begging also. Soon Carol. We’ll hit the road soon.

So I’m sitting here and I’m dreading tomorrow. I’ve got to spend about 4 hours tomorrow raking leaves and mowing the lawn. Then it hits me; “You f*ckers that live in snow country have it too f’ing easy!”

Now before you get you’re plug wires crossed and say: “Willy, are you out of your damn mind?” “We’re ass deep in snow and you’re bitching about your lawn?” “You a-hole!”
Let me ‘splane myself here Lucy. You guys are ass deep in it. You “know” you can’t go anywhere. You accept the power of Mother Nature and jump on the snowmobile or put sheet metal screw in your tires and play pinball machine with the snow banks.

Here, it’ll probably hit 70 degrees tomorrow and I “have to” do the lawn. I’ve already put it off for two weeks and I’m just not that rotten of a neighbor; I’ll do my part.

Think about it. What’s worse? Being in freezing, ass deep snow and you can’t go riding? Or being in 70 degree weather and you can’t go riding?

I’ll tell ya, when you look at he weather here, and know that periodically you have to sacrifice a day like this to actually do chores, well, it really tears at your soul.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Political Question

Yes, I know that some people don’t like politics and won't comment on them. That’s fine. Just vote when it’s your turn. The question of the 2012 election, which is fast approaching, seems to be shaping up as a pretty darn important one. This could be the one that literary means sink or swim for the USA.

Everyone knows that I very rarely delve into politics. I’m an average citizen. I’m just not smart enough to know what’s good for our Country. I don’t have the criminal background to be a public official.

I just watched Greta Van Susteren interview Sarah Palin. In my opinion Sarah is one smart lady, compared to the current occupant of the Oval Office. So, if she decides to run in 2012, that would make it Palin v Pbo. Question: Who do you think would win that election? I think Palin would kick his ass and send him back to Chicago with his tail between his legs.